I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you traded sex for a burrito?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
