my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
