Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
