Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
