Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
