Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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