Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
