I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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