we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
