How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
