This dress was meant to end up on your floor
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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