Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
