My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
