wake up i wanna do it froggy style
there's paper in my vomit.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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