New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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