Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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