I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
