I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
