Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i will never coherently bang her
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
