the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize