My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
