sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
