I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Floor bacon is actually really good
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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