i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
