I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
