Can i not drive my cunt home
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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