I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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