If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
