i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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