Do you still have your period?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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