i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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