are you still at the devil's house?
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
