You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
