at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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