you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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