Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
