i don't like sucking hair
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
