"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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