he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
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Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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