Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
