There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
