just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
