SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
