a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
