Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
