WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
