My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
