oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
