Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
