people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
