My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
