Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
