The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Mom said you looked used
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
