Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
