i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
