I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
