There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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